My Crazy Family

I know we all have crazy families, but sometimes mine makes me laugh out loud.

This past weekend we celebrated one of my Aunt's birthdays. She's closer in age to me than she is to her sister, my mom, Aunt C is more like a sister than an aunt. Did that make sense?

Mom is a full charge, type A personality, which she would never admit to. She constantly tells anyone who will listen she would like someone else to make decisions, but when someone else does, she overrides anything anyone comes up with. And even worse, she tells you you're wrong when you've not asked her opinion. She does this with cooking and decorating too--constantly tells us what we should have done instead, but that's another tale.

My sister decides we need to have a birthday party, but she doesn't want to have it at her house, and to be perfectly honest, no one really wants to go to her house, because she's got the most annoying Jack Russell Terrier that you just want to muzzle, but she does have central air conditioning which would make visiting okay if she locked up the dog (please note, I would like the dog more if he didn't try to bite my child and my sister would be less annoying if she didn't talk baby talk to the thing and feed him bites of food off her plate). Mom doesn't like coming to my house during the summer because we don't have air conditioning (well, we do in the bedrooms, but we can't entertain there.) Hey, the house is 100 years old, it has other charms and with a pool, we really don't feel hot, but Mom wont use the pool. Mom had everyone for Father's Day and doesn't want to have company again for a few more weeks.

So, my sister comes up with the bright idea of bringing the party to my Aunt's house, only she doesn't tell my Aunt. Two days before "The Party" my sister tells me to call Mom and tell her to tell my Aunt we're all coming on Sunday for her birthday. Now, my sister is planning on bringing the food, so at least she wasn't expecting my Aunt to throw her own birthday party.

Of course I do as I'm told and I call mom and tell her what my sister wants her to do and get a "WHAT???" Mom's not happy, I knew this before I even called. I got an "I'll talk to your sister" and she hung up.

Friday night I get a message from my sister. The party is now at my sister's, the dog will be kept outside and I am to bring lemonade and something else that I couldn't get from what my sister is saying, so I call her back. I'm to bring lemonade, potato chips and fruit. This is per my mother, through my sister.

Sunday we get to my sister's and the dog is outside on a run with his very own swimming pool and a reflective tent for him to sleep under and the dog is much happier than he would have been if he had been in the house playing alpha male against my three year old.

The party would have been perfect except my husband played bartender. My husband can drink like a fish and not get drunk, but I can't say the same for my Aunt. He makes this drink with vodka, lemonade and an orange liqueur that's blue--it's called "Chris' Blue Drink." I'm sure it has a real name, but that's what everyone in the family calls it. Well, the husband has a real heavy hand with the booze and my Aunt is a maudlin drunk, not a good combination.

The next birthday is Junior's, and Mom wont have a choice she's coming here. And, the hubby wont be allowed to play bartender--he'll be too busy barbecuing, or maybe I'll keep him busy deep frying a turkey. I'll have to think about it, but wont be asking Mom's opinion, I don't have to she'll give it anyway.